MANY moons ago we reviewed the King’s Head at Newton under Roseberry.

It wasn’t a glowing review but it was by no means entirely damning. Sadly, the pub’s family owners took exception and instructed solicitors with the brief of extracting substantial damages – the only time this has happened in the 13 years this column has been published.

Unfortunately for the owners of the King’s Head, they didn’t have a legal leg to stand on. Which was good news for the D&S, and anybody else who wishes to publish an opinion about anything. Provided the opinion is honestly held there is a defence in law. If there wasn’t such a law, restaurant reviews as we know them wouldn’t exist.

But that’s enough of a law lecture. We were reminded of the abortive legal spat on our return to King’s Head some ten years later. Much has changed at the King’s Head. It still sits in the shadow of Roseberry Topping but it has changed hands and is now owned by something called The Inn Collection a small chain of country pubs, mainly in Northumberland coastal villages.

Since the ownership change there’s been a top-to-toe refurbishment and as pub makeovers go it’s not a bad effort although the lack of individuality betrays its corporate origins.

We called for Sunday lunch for which bookings are not necessary after 2pm. There’s traditional Sunday fare plus the full a la carte which as it’s printed on coated card clearly does change very often. There were also, allegedly, some specials but we didn’t spot them on any of the assorted chalkboards and the staff didn’t proffer them.

It was busy and the first table we were offered, by the front door on a wet and windy day, was draughty. Luckily, an adjacent came free almost immediately and we quickly switched.

Food orders are taken at the bar and this proved to be interesting because the traditional choices of Sunday main course – beef, pork loin or turkey – come in three sizes, small, medium and large. But how big is large and how modest is small? The young man behind the bar was not very helpful in telling me about the shape of the plates they are served on (circular, oval etc). In desperation, I turned to a couple at the nearest table who looked like they were tucking into the roast beef and asked them what size they had. Their answer – large – was all I needed to know. I ordered small.

We also had starters – bread and olives (£4.95) for Sylvia – and “morning dew” mushrooms (£6.95) for me.

The olives were ordinary, the bread had been standing around uncovered too long and become a bit crusty. The feta cheese and the oil and balsamic for dipping was OK.

My mushrooms were cloaked in a cream and Stilton sauce and served on a slab of butter brioche. The mushrooms were fine - although I couldn’t for the life of me get that “morning dew” essence – but the brioche was just a sloppy slab of mush.

On to the main event – Sylvia had the pork and I had the topside of beef – and by far the most appetising thing on both platefuls were the carrots. The rest was just dreadful – possibly the most tasteless Sunday fare we’ve sampled in a long, long time. I can recall better meat and three veg in a school canteen. With the exception of the carrots the vegetables - broccoli and swede – were overcooked and bland. The roast potatoes were flaccid and with no crunchiness, the new potatoes no better.

The beef and pork were so lacking in flavour – and the beef was not particularly tender either - they could almost have been interchangeable. The one-size-fits-all gravy didn’t help. The Yorkshire puddings – quite light and fluffy – could have been quite good but were fatally let down by a lack of salt.

The fact that the "small" portions were more than ample was of little comfort. We certainly didn't need dull lifeless food in even greater quantities.

The pile-it-high concept was a feature of the dessert menu which along with standards like sticky toffee pudding, brownies, cheesecake etc offered the "Ultimate Eton Mess". We decided not to find out how big a mountain of cream, meringue and strawberries could be had for £9.95.

A tenner for a dessert – even an ultimate one – made us think about the pricing. Yes, portions are generally enormous but unless you are a 16 stone hod carrier that has limited appeal these days. Our bill was £34.65, including £6.85 for drinks

With one exception the staff were on auto-pilot – not unpleasant but visibly disengaged and focussed clearly on the end of their shifts. If I worked there I'd probably feel the same.

The King’s Head Inn, The Green, Newton under Roseberry, Great Ayton, Cleveland, TS9 6QR. Tel: 01642 722318. Web: kingsheadinn.co.uk Email: info@kingsheadinn.co.uk

Disabled access. Vegetarian options aplenty. Open for Sunday lunch: noon-5pm

Ratings (out of ten): Food quality 4, Service 6, Surroundings 7, Value: 7