Fox and Hounds, Teesway, Neasham, Darlington

Yes, we could have gone to the Otter and Fish or the Bay Horse in Hurworth, the Fighting Cocks at Middleton St George, the Devonport at Middleton One Row, The Chequers at Dalton or, a few miles further out, the pubs at Hornby or Worsall.

But all the above have featured here in the last five years while the Fox and Hounds has somehow slipped through the net.

Perhaps that’s because reports of its food offering have been few and far between. And perhaps that was a sign.

We’ve always associated the Fox and Hounds with summer, the ideal spot for a refreshing pint or two in the beer garden by the River Tees which, to be fair, you can’t see because of the flood barrier which, fingers crossed for the villagers of Neasham, has worked well this winter.

Given what they experienced in the not-so-distant past, they could be forgiven a little schadenfraude witnessing the recent TV pictures from the Somerset Levels. Thoughts of balmy summer days and cold pints were a world away when we turned up on a freezing February Tuesday night.

A few locals were clustered round the bar. An electric fire seemed the only source of heat but the welcome behind the bar was warm enough. We were shown to the adjacent and empty dining area, noting the conservatory, where we recalled enjoying a passable Sunday lunch many moons ago, was in darkness.

We had our pick of the tables and chose the one nearest the portable halogen heater, which was doing its best to lift the temperature.

While it wasn’t icy, it certainly wasn’t cosy.

Tables in the dining area are arranged in booths separated by wooden partitions. The bench seating, certainly in our booth, was well past its best.

The springing brought to mind the back seat of a Mark 2 Cortina that’s seen a bit of action. Comfort was not assisted by a table that was too low and by no means solid. We also felt cramped.

Overall, the decor was tired – and some more interior design-minded types might say that’s being charitable.

The traditional pub look has its merits but the Fox and Hounds looks like it hasn’t been touched for years and some updating wouldn’t go amiss.

Certainly it suffers badly in comparison with a modernised pub like the Otter and Fish just a mile down the road. The fact our photographer thought the best interior pictures to accompany this piece were in the conservatory speaks volumes.

Two evening menus are offered on the pub’s website – a frighteningly long a la carte (nine starters, 19 mains) and an “inclusive”

variation which is marginally shorter (eight starters, 15 mains). This was the menu we were offered and it is a good deal – £11.95 for two courses, £13.95 for three.

Despite the extensive choice, Sylvia wasn’t tempted by any of the starters which left me to plough a lonely and unrewarding furrow with duck liver pate – a miserable offering.

The pate had the texture of soggy sawdust and it was accompanied by a bit of barely dressed bagged salad, some toasted sliced wheatmeal bread, cateringpack butter and a little pot of a sticky onion marmalade.

Totally and utterly uninspiring.

Things couldn’t get any worse – and happily they didn’t. The atmosphere in the frigid dining area was improved by the arrival of a large birthday gathering which filled the centre table and immediately made the place seem immeasurably brighter and warmer.

And our main course choices were really quite good.

The interior of the Fox and Hounds, in Neasham

Certainly, Sylvia’s handsome and well-proportioned grilled gammon steak was a quality slice of pork, nicely browned on the outside but still juicy in the middle. It came with a fried egg and (her preference to chips) some salad, which was rather better dressed than the stuff that came with my pate.

With some misgivings, I had decided to give the chicken and ham parmesan a punt on the basis that I had never had a “Parmo” before, which I freely admit is something of a terrible admission for a food critic in this part of the world.

Strictly speaking, subsequent research revealed, this was not a true Parmo.

The addition of a slice of ham to the butterflied, beaten breast of chicken turned it into Hunter’s Chicken sans the barbecue sauce. The chicken itself was tender and probably well flavoured.

The light and smooth cheese sauce featured plenty of Parmesan which obliterated the other flavours (which I guess is the point of the Parmo in its natural environment of the Borough Road takeaway). Subtle it wasn’t, but I couldn’t hold that against it.

It came with top-notch chips – chunky and twice (perhaps thrice?) fried to crisp perfection.

Other main courses included minted lamb casserole, potroast brisket of beef with horseradish mash, rump and sirloin steaks, baked pork loin with cider and mushroom sauce, steak and ale pudding and smoked haddock with cheese sauce.

From nine desserts I picked cherry bakewell pudding, which conjured up a bakewell tart-type thing but turned out to be a very light sponge topped with a cherry compote. It was served with a perfectly decent custard.

Very acceptable.

Service from our young waitress and later an older lady who seemed to be running the show was friendly and efficient, even after the large party had landed.

We thought the food, starter aside, to be unpretentious and good value but to compete effectively in the pub dining market some urgent work is needed to bring this venerable institution up to modern standards.

The complete contemporary gastro-pub revamp may not be appropriate or affordable but some paint and new dining furniture would go a long way.

Ratings:

Food Quality: 6/10

Service: 7/10

Surroundings: 5/10

Value: 7/10