A memorable day in two ways

The first occurred through sheer chance. As a budding author, I was attending a writers’ conference when I chatted to a charming young lady whom, it transpired, worked for this newspaper. During our chatter, I explained that I knew the man known as “The Major” – Major Jack Fairfax-Blakeborough, who had written this column for about 60 years.

The Major and I both attended the small Catholic church at Lealholm in the Esk Valley, he living in Westerdale and me at Glaisdale. Seated behind my parents and me, he would often take my missal to point out the correct place during the on-going mass. At that time, mass was celebrated in Latin except for the homily but there was an English translation on the left with Latin on the right. It was easy for a child to get lost in the words even if, over time, they became very familiar, particularly when attending mass overseas. It was a simple way to learn a new language and I have such a missal printed in 1688 in which both the Latin and English prayers are featured.

When I passed my 11-plus for grammar school, The Major presented me with a signed copy of one of his books which generated my desire to become a writer. It was many years later, while talking to the lady from the D&S Times, that she told me The Major, then in his nineties, was ill and the editor was urgently seeking a replacement. As I had published articles about various topics relating to this region, such as the history, wild life, dialects and so forth, she felt I could step into The Major’s shoes. She suggested I contact the editor along with some samples of my work and so I did. The Major died soon afterwards.

As a result and somewhat nervously, I started to regularly write this Countryman’s Diary on January 10, 1976, the day I also celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary. Sadly, The Major never knew I had inherited his famous column but he is buried in the small churchyard of Lealholm’s Catholic church.

My wife and I were married in the historic Catholic parish of Egton, the ceremony taking place in the impressive St Hedda’s Church known now as The Cathedral of the Moors. But it snowed mightily the night before the wedding; all roads were closed with deep snow and huge drifts. My parents and I, with many guests, had to find our way from Glaisdale but the regular route via the infamous Limber Hill (1-in-3 gradient) was impossible. Nothing could climb that hill or pass along the narrow lanes due to snow reaching the tops of the hedges.

The photographer had to travel across the moors from Whitby and so did the registrar – in those days, Catholic priests weren’t allowed to undertake such official duties. Among all the chaos, guests found themselves walking up to four miles through knee-deep snow but my bride lived in the house at Egton railway station only a hundred yards or so from the church. My parents and I, along with siblings and relations, took the train to Egton station (it needed a lot of snow to halt a train) and so we arrived early armed with wellies as my wife’s brothers got to work shovelling snow from the church entrance and the approach road.

The registrar set off from Whitby and had to negotiate the four-mile climb up the notorious moor road route up Skelder but failed and got stuck in a snowdrift. Happily, the photographer, also from Whitby, was on hand to rescue him and so they managed to arrive at the wedding venue, if rather late. My wife walked to church in her wedding dress and fur boots. Even now, whenever I return to that church, usually on special occasions, someone always says: “I remember your wedding …”

That was 56 years ago tomorrow and the occasion remains vividly fresh in my memory. After a honeymoon in the freezing cold of Edinburgh, we are still married and enjoying life with our four children and eight grandchildren. And I am still writing articles and books.

Bridal beliefs

The prestige of a wedding in church now seems to have lost favour among many of our younger population, some regarding religion as little more than a superstition. And yet those same people will abide by a wealth of ancient superstitious customs that continue to accompany many weddings whether in church or not. They relate to the wedding dress, the veil, the ring and the particular times that benefit weddings.

There are too many such beliefs to express in full in this column, and many are very well known. The most common is that everything worn by the bride should be new, exception for “something borrowed” and “something old”. Quite often, a bride will borrow a veil while something old was often the shoes – for practical reasons, they were generally the most comfortable!

There remain superstitions about the dress – one is that the bride should not make her own dress, and another is that it should never be finalised before the day of the wedding. The final alteration should be carried out on that day.

The colour is also important. White probably remains the most popular due to its symbolic purity but blue is often included in small items because old beliefs recommend that something blue should be worn by the bride, perhaps ornamental garters. It was not suggested that the entire wedding dress should be blue as this brought bad luck – pink, silver and gold were considered suitable but never black, purple or green.

There used to be a belief that an old veil was luckier than a new one but it should never be worn before the wedding day, except for any adjustments that might be required. The bride should not look at herself in a mirror while wearing the veil, and when preparing for her wedding it should be the final part of her preparation; while wearing the veil, she should only look at herself in the mirror while leaving for the church. It was widely thought that if the veil was borrowed from a woman who had enjoyed a happy wedded life, then it would bring luck to the new bride.

There are lots of beliefs surrounding the bride’s wedding ring, perhaps the most common being that it is unlucky to drop the ring before or during the wedding service. It was also considered unlucky to remove a wedding ring once it had been placed on the finger during the church service. In some districts, it was thought wise to remove it only after the birth of the couple’s first child.

In cases where the couple were too poor to buy a wedding ring, it was possible to borrow one for the ceremony; in some churches, the priest kept a selection of spare rings for that purpose and it has been known for church key rings to be utilised as a last resort.

Perhaps one of the prevailing beliefs is that the groom should never see his bride in her wedding dress until his arrival at church; the bride should always leave home via the front door and hopefully see a black cat or chimney sweep en route to the church. My bride saw snow!