THERE was a time when trends and crazes took a while to reach the Dales, or failed to arrive completely.

Rollerblading, for example.

Great for New York sidewalks or the boulevard beside Miami Beach, but not so good for country roads littered with potholes and dead rabbits.

Likewise jungle music, which was massive in the 1990s in urban areas of the UK, but was less of a hit in the discos of the Dales, which preferred Dexys Midnight Runners.

Incidentally, have you ever read the lyrics to Come on Eileen? Absolute filth.

Anyway, these days the internet allows crazes to arrive here at around the same time as everywhere else.

A recent example is neknominating. For those not familiar with the game, participants have to drink a pint, usually of alcohol but non-drinkers can take part, ideally in unusual circumstances.

The drinker finishes by nominating more people to do their own challenge, kind of like a boozy chain letter.

The act is filmed and posted on Facebook.

It’s no surprise that a game combining silliness and alcohol has been fully embraced in the area, which brings us to the video doing the rounds of a Dales farmer drinking a pint while wearing a mankini and milking his cows.

If you’ve not seen it, then fear not, it’s been rumoured the clip will be shown on a new post-watershed version of The Dales, called Dales Nights.

The documentary, which will also examine the dubious goings-on amid the seedy back streets of Newbiggin in Bishopdale, will be hosted by both Donal MacIntyre and Ross Kemp, because neither presenter is man enough to do the show on their own.

Back home, the sale of Newcastle United’s best player, Yohan Cabaye, was greeted with consternation by everyone except the baby, who I fear is a Burnley fan.

After thinking about the problem for a while, the sixyear- old suggested we should ask his favourite player, Papiss Cisse, to Facebook arguably the world’s greatest player Lionel Messi, and ask him to come and play for us.

Although a simplistic and unrealistic solution to Newcastle’s lack of transfer activity, it would still have achieved no less than the club’s recently departed director of football managed in eight months.