SOMEONE rang up North Yorkshire Police this week to report flood water on the road at Croft to be told by a slightly panicky sounding operator that there was "flooding everywhere" which was of course an exaggeration although it has been quite wet .

During the storms at the weekend, the A1 was closed at Catterick to remove Fort Bridge, which meant the bridge at Skeeby caused even more problems than usual.

According to social media, quite a few people where inconvenienced by the diversions and delays and so I rang up Highways England on Monday morning demanding an explanation.

The weary spokeswoman duly provided one, but I could tell from the tone of her voice she really wanted to say: "We have knocked down a great big bridge in 34 hours working through the night in torrential conditions so we could build a wider, faster, safer road, which will help your economy no-end, and you ring me up whining about delays.

"Are you people never happy? Do you know how pathetic you sound? If you ever ring me up again I will sneak in a requirement for the average speed cameras to be left behind."

The woman had a very expressive tone to her voice, it has to be said.

In other news, the youngest boy came back from school this week to reveal that the overhead projector had "gone bang" during a lesson.

It was a moment of triumph for my efforts to encourage the kids to highlight potential stories which I've done by explaining the direct correlation between the number and quality of stories I write and the speed of the broadband they need for their video games.

Sometimes the front room resembles an episode of children's 80s series Press Gang starring Julia Sawalha and Dexter Fletcher, although the occasional similarities to Fagin's lair in Oliver Twist are more disconcerting.. 'got to pick up a story or two'.

The boy is showing considerable promise, even offering to get pictures of the offending equipment - an offer I declined as I don't need my face on any more staffroom dart boards.

One of his classmates, who was sitting nowhere near the projector, apparently said he had been injured in the incident - a claim that would have had the county hall bean counters breaking out in an unseasonal sweat not seen since DJ Wilko played the school's Christmas disco and turned the volume up to 11, leaving several children complaining of ear knack.