IT'S all about food this week after Jezza Clarkson apparently had a proper strop when he was offered a cold meat platter instead of a steak at Simonstone Hall.

We've all been there. You arrive somewhere late, the kitchen is closed, they offer you a cold alternative and you are so annoyed you allegedly throw a punch at the person closest.

Apparently he had been drinking rose wine before launching into an expletive-filled tirade using “every bad word you could think of” and ranted “so there’s no food” when he was told he would not get the steak he wanted.

What an alleged clown. It's one thing antagonising Argentineans with references to the Falklands War or appearing to mention the horrible n-word in a nursery rhyme, but quite another to drink rose wine when there's proper beer on hand -pump.

Anyway, it's all good for the tourism trade. How long before Welcome to Yorkshire launches a Stars have a Strop Trail?

"Here's where Christopher Timothy swore after stubbing his toe on a chain harrow while filming an episode of All Creatures Great and Small, and here's where Kevin Costner blasphemed after dunking his bits in the water at the bottom of Hardaw Force on the set of Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves."

I seem to recall a famous actress and her party trashing a holiday cottage at the top end of the Dales a few years ago, although it may have been that we could not prove it sufficiently to go to print.

In a lot of ways Jeremy Clarkson resembles our toddler who has equally explosive responses when she doesn't get what she wants for tea, although her language is thankfully a lot better.

It's embarrassing to admit it - but I will as I have another 100 words to fill - that she has taken to shouting "chips, chips, chips" whenever we pass the golden arches of a McDonald's restaurant.

I want to stress we're not frequent visitors to the fast food chain, but obviously when we have called in, the experience has left quite an impression on the young girl's mind.

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