IT'S a source of occasional consternation that photographers take lots of pictures of the Yorkshire Dales, but fail every time to capture how really dreary the place can be.

We've all seen the beautiful images; the limestone pavements, the waterfalls, the flower-filled fields divided by drystrone walls, the quaint villages, the stunning vistas, but what about the gloomy grey skies that last for weeks and leave you wanting to switch on the television in the hope that Location, Location, Location will be doing a summer seaside special.

And another thing. It's not rained for days that I've seen, yet the road is still wet and there's big muddy puddles everywhere. How can that be? Okay it may rain at night when I'm asleep but surely not every night. I drove up Coverdale this week - locking the car doors at the Wensley turn-off obviously - and it couldn't have been more gloomy if it was driving into Chernobyl on a particularly overcast day with no sweets left and a stone in your shoe.

So photographers everywhere, there's a challenge for you. I want gritty Dales realism. A sheep with footrot after years of questionable breeding practices, a dead rabbit that's been half eaten by crows, a tiny barn that has fallen down before someone can make it into a really small house.

Fortunately, all the gloom was washed away this week by photographs of a Cogden Beck, near Grinton, after it had turned green overnight.

At the time of writing, nobody knew why, other than someone had possibly opened a can of dye.

We used to fish for bullheads in Cogden Beck as children - that's 13 mentions if anyone cares. The twelfth was a story a couple of years ago about 800 of the ugly little chaps perishing in a pig slurry pollution incident near Guisborough. The water was clear back then, not green, and cold enough to quickly chill a big bottle of Tizer.

Finally, to tackle the gloom I turned to Radio 2. The Kid Creole and the Coconuts song, Annie I'm not your Daddy. How cruel. What was the B-side? Annie, you're a horrible girl? Annie, your gerbil didn't run away, I accidentally squashed it while putting on my shoe? It just doesn't seem right that's all.