SCHOOLS across Richmondshire are closing on the Friday before the Tour.

Even schools in Richmond are shutting – despite the race being ten miles away at its nearest and the bikes not coming for another 24 hours.

The roads are going to be busy, says the county council, which has recommended they shut.

Do the schools need to close?

Are the roads going to be so busy cars will be clogging up the pavements as well, meaning Little Billy can’t even walk to school?

Have visitors coming to the Dales been instructed to drive nose to bumper at all times and not allow drivers to egress from side roads? Have they?

No, they haven’t. And no I’m not sure that’s the correct use of “egress” either.

I’ve been to London. It was OK, I suppose, but the roads were really busy.

Children still went to school.

So what happens when someone wants to take their children out of school to take advantage of a cheaper holiday? Their request will be refused and they will face a fine if they do it without authority.

But it’s OK to shut schools for a bike race. It’s not even a British bike race.

Kids can miss school for a French bike race but not a French holiday.

I’ve discussed the pre-tour traffic situation with the boss but he says I still have to come to work. He suggested I set off five minutes early. Upper Dales councillor John Blackie had become the new Hawes head postmaster, which caused some amusement in the office.

This is on top of his roles as community bus driver, holiday cottage business owner, leader of Richmondshire District Council, county councillor and chairman of Hawes and High Abbotside Parish Council.

He has his critics but it’s difficult to fault his solution to cuts to rural services.

Rumours he will be training to be paediatric consultant so he can “damn well deliver those babies at the Friarage myself” have not been confirmed.

Finally, I thought I’d finish with the thoughts of a visitor to a Dales inn, as quoted on a well-known online site. “The bar staff were great, however the manager, and a couple of his assistants were very rude.

“In the morning I woke up with a used plaster stuck to my leg.”

Welcome to Yorkshire.