WOULD you believe it – DJ Wilko has only received 18 mentions in the D&S and most of these are in the Town and Village section.

It’s a few more than bullheads – now 13 – but not nearly enough given the important role he plays in Dales life.

“Who’s doing the disco?” people ask.

“DJ Wilko,” someone replies.

“It should be a good night,” everyone thinks. Children’s parties packed with giddy seven-year-olds or agricultural show dances in a big marquee full of drunken teenagers – he is the music man, he comes from far away (Kettlewell, I think) and he can play – what can he play?

Banging tunes, that’s what.

When he’s not round the back of his decks playing music, he’s round the front getting the dancing going.

His powers are so strong that even those who are usually reluctant are drawn to the floor like moths to a lightbulb.

Inhibitions are cast aside and crazy shapes are cut.

The venue selected by DJ Wilko for lift off on Friday night was the Wensleydale Rugby Club ball. Big up the Beating Blood Cancers Ball massive.

We walked home afterwards.

It was a beautifully still night, not cold at all, and the sound of DJ Wilko and his tunes bounced off the hills and travelled for miles. Lovely.

In other news, I hear that far from pedalling into the Dales to deliver riches beyond his wildest dreams, the invading cyclists have been causing a few problems for one Dales cafe owner.

Apparently, weight is crucial for the cyclists, meaning many leave their bike locks at home – as well as their lights.

Instead they’ve been dragging their expensive bikes inside the unnamed business, past the “Please don’t park your bike here” sign and leaving them in the hallway where they block doors, toilets and the fire escape.

Not unreasonably, the owner has asked them to desist, which has prompted rudeness, abuse and – most damagingly – negative comments on TripAdvisor that the business is “not bike friendly”.

Obviously, the business can’t be named in case they are woken in the night by the sound of an old Raleigh Burner hastily painted yellow being hoyed through the window.