THERE’S a risk of being summoned to Welcome to Yorkshire head office in York and forced to listen to the official Grand Depart song, The Road, on repeat until I can take no more for saying this, but I'm sick of hearing about Le Tour.

It's not the fact that Tour volunteers have been asked not to use friendly Northern phrases like "darling" and "chuck" for fear foreign visitors might get the wrong idea and think the official helpers are offering personal services that has put me off.

It's also not the fact that it's costing even little old Richmondshire District Council more than £100,000 to organise when this money could be used to empty my green bin for nowt or subsidise the evaporating Dales bus service.

And it's not even the fact that I won't be able to leave Leyburn after 10am on the day because all routes in and out of the town will be closed – even roads that won't used by Cavendish and Co.

That's the cyclists, not the Watford-based accountancy firm which, like the rest of us, will not be able to get to places like Wensley and West Witton after the deadline.

OK, it's all those things, but mainly it's all the fuss that I object to.

Ten years ago eight out of the top ten Tour cyclists had at one point in their careers tested positive for banned substances.

Now it's all "Ooh do we need some more portable toilets for the Tour?" and "Ooh let's get a big screen for the Tour".

Have you ever tried to watch cycling on television?

It's duller than a marathon.

Yes, I know it will bring in lots of business to bed and breakfast owners but what a lot of fuss over a bike race.

Obviously these are my own opinions and in no way reflect the official Darlington & Stockton Times stance, which absolutely adores everything about the event, even the 158-vehicle publicity caravan that it really hopes doesn't get wedged on Gunnerside Bridge.