IF Jesus was born today, he would have been born in the Yorkshire Dales, reckons a survey by the Bible Society.

It’s a study that the kids would describe as “a bit random”, but difficult to ignore all the same when there’s 350 words to bash out before home time.

So, where to start?

If Jesus was born in the Dales, most innkeepers worth their salt would give up their own bed rather than turn paying customers away.

If Mary and Joseph landed in Middleham they might find a stable more comfortable than most bedrooms – and one or two spare donkeys for the return journey.

Three kings from the Orient – must be grouse shooting season.

Water into wine – the crowd would prefer pints of Sheep.

I’m going to stop there as the jokes have gone a bit panto ... oh no they haven’t.

As well as a Yorkshire Jesus this week, we’ve had Yorkshire Wensleydale Cheese.

What a heavenly duo.

The European Commission has granted the Wensleydale Creamery protection for its Wensleydale cheese.

Now only cheese made in the local area can be called Yorkshire Wensleydale.

Of course nobody else wants to call their cheese that, but it’s hoped the move will add some value to the product, meaning they can charge a bit more and hopefully pay the dwindling number of Dales farmers a bit more for their milk.

If it helps, could I add that the cheap Wensleydale and cranberries I bought from Aldi the other day – presumably not made at Hawes – was tasteless and I will not be straying again.

When not shopping in budget Scandinavian supermarkets this week, we took a drive from Reeth along the back roads to Marske and Richmond – the diversion route when the main road closes for repairs in March.

The route goes up towards Fremington Edge, or Remington Edge as we called it in the paper recently. Residents of Swaledale wanting to avoid their own close shaves will have their fingers crossed it’s going to be a mild March.

Finally, the youngest boy told his brother this morning that he had been playing Top Trumps with himself.

“I won,” he added, thoroughly pleased with himself.