THE battle to keep the house warm has begun.

You know the care-free days of youth are behind you when the sight of a front door left open for a second too long makes you cross.

If I had my way, children would exit the house to go to school by some kind of pressurised air lock system to prevent heat from escaping.

To be fair, there isn’t much heat to let out at the moment as I’m too tight to turn the central heating on.

The recent energy price increases have prompted the Big Switch On to be put back by a week or two.

Some people are having to choose between heating or eating. We have opted for the third way – layering.

We do have a multi-fuel stove but that’s not cheap to feed either. Presumably those last bags contained coal with veins of gold, Bob?

The stove also has a habit of heating up the wooden mantlepiece, which has been treated by something unpleasant and gives off noxious fumes when warm – there is a lesson there about sourcing material for home improvements on eBay.

Having said all that, I am still very grateful we no longer live in a badly insulated Dales cottage equipped with oil central heating.

There are few things in life as miserable as spending a winter watching a tank full of heating oil rapidly being burnt away by an antique boiler that barely melts the ice on the inside of the windows.

One consequence of the cold house is that the kids are more willing to participate in after-school activities.

The youngest boy has become a Beaver and is collecting badges at an impressive rate.

It’s just a pity that the first badge he received wasn’t for sewing as nobody else has the time or patience to attach them to his jumper.