THE Dales’ GP surgeries are under threat because the Government is removing a subsidy that rural practices currently receive as it’s more expensive when you have relatively few patients spread over a large geographic area.

It wont happen immediately, but if the money is withdrawn, it’s suggested that sooner or later the practices will become unsustainable and be forced to close.

The money would be pulled from rural practices and handed to urban clinics. It’s OK because this new system will be “fairer”, says the Department for Health. Let’s not tell them we still have village primary schools, as surely it would be fairer for them to be closed too and the children bussed elsewhere.

How about Middlesbrough, so they can be transported along with the patients who now have to use James Cook Hospital?

Thinking about it, why don’t we have just a great big national hospital, school, post office and library somewhere in the Midlands? I know, I know. I’m getting a bit carried away.

Since saving a swallow’s life the other week, I’ve run over a pheasant and what looked possibly like a grouse before it exploded on impact with the front wheel. I thought about stopping and using my magic hands to revive them, but I’m still a little concerned about the dangers our wildlife will pose to cyclists on the Tour de France next year, so decided we could do without animals like these which clearly have no road sense.

We’ve introduced a new scheme at home where boys taking end of year exams and mock GCSEs choose their breakfast. The aim is to make sure they head to school fuelled up and realise the importance of doing the best they can at exams. All very sensible, I thought.

The youngest boy, who won’t have exams for several years, wasn’t impressed, though. After four days of tears and complaining at the injustice of it all, his mother finally relented and said he could choose breakfast the following day.

“What would you like?” she asked. “Cake,” he replied gleefully.