FOUR hundred words of meandering nonsense in about half an hour before the home time bell. The clock's ticking. Do schools still use bells? I must ask the kids.

First things first, dear family we haven't moved to an idyllic cottage in Countersett, more's the pity.

Last week's column wrongly gave that impression after someone removed some quote marks. I'm not cross as they no-doubt also corrected several spelling mistakes.

The cat did get run over thought and is starting to form basic words, the first of which seem to sound like: "Children. Too many. Want to leave but broken leg."

So what about the skeletons found where the new extra care scheme is going to be built in Leyburn. Who were they? What did they look like? What kind of lives did they lead? Had they been waiting for superfast broadband to be installed?

The expert bloke, who was as excited as I am about the find, said they could be Bronze Age. That means they could have been alive more time 4,000 years ago I think.

I can't get quite as excited about the church mainly because it's not dead people, but I'm sure others can.

According to my sources (outofoblivion.org.uk) at that time, the first settlers had only been in the area for around 2,000 years. By the start of the Bronze Age they were beginning to farm the Dales, were clearing the forests and were using stone and then metal tools. The ice which formed the hills and the valleys had gone and left behind lakes full of fish and lots of big animals to hunt and be hunted by.

What did our Leyburn skeletons die of? Where they eaten by a bear? Did they drink beer? I'd like to think so. What kind of accent did they speak with? Did it sound similar to the Dales ascent today? Wouldn't that be fantastic.

Maybe there are people living in the area today who are direct descendants. I wonder if it is possible to find out. I'll ask.

It's strange to think they have been in the field for as long as we've all been alive without anyone knowing. Just lying, crouched and cold. Why were they buried in a crouched position? Presumably tradition. When did that end? So many questions. Everyday is a school day, bells or no bells.