I WAS planning to start this week's column with something witty and informative about the Scottish independence referendum next week, but alas the witty and informative cupboard is bare.

Instead, let me tell you about the odd sock box. It's all in the name really, but just in case, the odd sock box lives under a bed and is used to store all non-matching socks that accumulate, usually because boys sent to pair socks get bored of pairing socks and stuff the remaining socks in the odd sock box.

For them it's a chore, but for me it's a treat. If ever you need to de-stress I recommend pairing socks. Less odd socks, more fluffy Valium. If only all life's problem were easily solved by a little rummaging.

Wait a minute, perhaps there's an analogy there. Scotland and England are matching socks ... no, I was wrong, there's no analogy. Let's move on.

The summer show season is drawing to a close. What have we learnt?

The Social and Personal pages always teach us something, usually that we don't get out enough.

Last week, it was the Wensleydale Show which featured. The guests photographed included a mayoress, a vicar, an acclaimed plastic surgeon, a colonel, a newspaper editor, a lord of the manor and big bike ride promoter Gary Verity.

This week it is the turn of Reeth Show. I find that I increasingly know less about more, but I do know that Swaledale has just as many, if not more, well-to-do people than it's less steeply sided neighbour.

Surely their Social and Personal pictures will include the odd prince or billionaire landowner. No, just a goat called Nellie.

I hope that Nellie will appear in future editions. Where's Nellie dining out today? Ideally guests will partially hide the goat so it becomes hugely popular game like Where's Wally?

Can you spot Nellie among the guests at Darlington Rotary Club's annual charity ball? There she is in the corner, nibbling a curtain and being chatted up by a very drunk man in a dinner jacket.

Of course, this will only be possible if Nellie was not sacrificed to become part of the hearty meat and potatoes meal that was fed to 900 Reeth Show helpers.

Is this right? How do you go about feeding 900 people each a hearty meal? Where do you get 900 plates from?