ABOUT nine years ago a new bar opened in Darlington and until last week I had never set foot in it.

I had nothing against Hash Bar and Kitchen in the town end of Coniscliffe Road per se. It’s only problem was its proximity to Number Twenty2, just about the only pub worth visiting in Darlington town centre and, as it happens, my local.

I couldn’t bring myself to darken its door in case Number Twenty2 landlord Ralph Wilkinson almost next door had spotted me. Ralph’s a generous, magnanimous chap and surely would not have minded in the least but it would have felt disloyal. So I didn’t go.

Sylvia did though, especially when Hash opened a roof-top terrace a few years back. When the sun was in the sky and in the right direction, it became the place to be for the town’s West Enders.

And it’s always been the place for girlies, both men and women, who might have found Number Twenty2’s peerless range of real ales and lagers and dimly-lit interior a bit hardcore CAMRA, especially in the summer.

But this isn’t about Number Twenty2, it’s about a place which when it opened was definitely the coolest place to be in Darlington. It was a hipster joint before the word had even been coined in its modern-day usage in this part of the world at least.

Well, that’s what I thought it was all about as I resolutely strode by its front and into my favoured watering hole next door. And although I was gratified to find two men with beards (hipster uniform grooming style) behind the bar as we arrived for lunch last Saturday, that really was about as far as the alternative lifestyle, counter-culture, retro-loving feel went. There wasn’t even anybody smoking hash. It’s just a trendy-ish bar that serves food. Shoreditch hasn’t come to Darlington.

It was really busy too. We grabbed just about the last table going and watched as people piled in behind us. Which is when things started to go awry.

We’d barely been seated 30 seconds and we were asked what we wanted. We thought a menu would be a good start. Menus arrived (sandwiches, paninis and some main dishes – burgers, wraps etc) and service stopped. We had to grab a waitress to order drinks and then do the same to order our food.

Two small glasses of wine – house Sauv Blanc (£4) and Pinot Grigio (£4.20) – arrived swiftly but the food took ages. Ten minutes, 15, 20, 25, 30, it was almost 40 minutes before our steak sandwich and omelette appeared – with an apology. They had staffing problems in the kitchen.

I totally get that. Someone phones in sick or doesn’t turn up for whatever reason and you are in the clart. And it’s the day the b***** restaurant reviewer turns up from the D&S after studiously ignoring you for nine years. Yup, it’s a bummer.

I’d be inclined to be a bit more charitable if one of the bearded guys behind the bar hadn’t been tucking into chips when I was still waiting for mine. And before you start thinking there’s some pogonophobia going on here, I sport a beard but having had it for almost 40 years I don’t think it counts as a style statement. There was no gesture beyond the verbal apology, nothing off the bill, no complimentary drink.

So there was plenty of time to take in our surroundings. I did think I would pass the time by counting the number of exposed bricks in what is a fairly minimalist, bare light-bulbed, high ceiling interior but thought better of it. We watched as people hung around waiting for tables as the bearded guys chatted.

When the food did arrive it was really quite good. Sylvia’s steak sandwich, served with some sweet onions, nicely sticky balsamic syrup, vine tomato and decent crips chips (£9.95) was delicious, she said.

My goat’s cheese, spinach and red onion omelette with a mixed leaf salad (£7.95) was good too but it had been too long out of the pan to be eaten at its best, the egg mixture having lost all semblance of life as it cooled on the plate. The salad was okay thanks to an excellent dressing.

Having waited so long, the rather desultory dessert menu (brownie, cakes and that’s it) was given short shrift. We paid our bill (£26.10) schlepped out and went next door for a drink, a smile and some proper service.

FOOD FACTS

Hash Bar and Kitchen

14 Coniscliffe Road, Darlington DL3 7RG

Tel: 01325 365585

Open: Monday to Thursday 10am-11pm; Friday and Saturday 9am-1am

Disabled access. Some vegetarian options

Ratings (out of ten): Food quality 7 Service 4 Surroundings 7 Value 6