PERHAPS Steve McClaren should stop trying to get the better of Slaven Bilic in London.

Eight years on from the rain-sodden night at Wembley that prevented his England team from reaching Euro 2008, McClaren was forced to watch on painfully from the sidelines again as Newcastle crashed to a deserved 2-0 defeat at the hands of Bilic’s West Ham.

There was no need from an umbrella this time around, and the repercussions of his latest setback when lining up against his Croatian adversary will not be anywhere near as severe. But with his Newcastle side now rooted to the foot of the Premier League, and without a goal in more than 400 minutes of league action, McClaren must be an increasingly worried man.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. A summer investment of more than £50m was supposed to propel the Magpies up the table, but instead so many of the club’s age-old problems remain, along with some new ones that rapidly need remedying.

Newcastle’s defending was desultory as Frenchman Dimitri Payet scored both of West Ham’s goals on a night that saw the visitors torn apart whenever their opponents turned defence into attack.

And at the other end of the field, West Ham goalkeeper Darren Randolph was a spectator before he tipped Siem de Jong’s late effort over the crossbar. For all that the Magpies have invested heavily in their attacking line-up, their lack of goalscoring threat has been the most alarming factor of their five league performances so far.

Last night’s display was the worst of the lot, and it followed a chaotic pre-match period that set the tone for the rest of the night. With the roads around Upton Park grid-locked, Newcastle’s players had to complete their journey to the ground with the help of a hastily-arranged police escort, and their late arrival meant their warm-up was reduced to around ten minutes. After Middlesbrough experienced similar problems ahead of May’s play-off final, perhaps North-East teams should start using the underground when they visit the capital.

Sadly, for Newcastle, the parallels with Boro’s experience did not end there. Just as Aitor Karanka’s side had followed their delayed arrival at Wembley with the concession of a goal inside the opening 12 minutes, so the Magpies also found themselves falling behind early on.

Just nine minutes had elapsed when Mark Noble outwitted Daryl Janmaat on the left-hand side, and when he rolled the ball inside, Payet stroked a superb first-time finish into the right-hand corner of the net.

Vurnon Anita had been tracking Payet at the start of the move, but the Dutchman found himself sucked into the area, leaving his French opponent with far too much room. That said, though, it was still a superbly composed strike from a player who was on Newcastle’s radar in the summer of 2014.

Payet joined West Ham in a £10.7m move from Marseille at the start of the summer, two months before Newcastle shelled out a higher sum to sign Florian Thauvin from the same club. It is still early to be judging Thauvin, but on the evidence of last night’s game, West Ham can claim to have secured the better deal.

Payet, whose ease in possession was obvious throughout, came close to adding a second goal when he stabbed narrowly wide of the target after the Newcastle defence failed to deal with a cross from Victor Moses, and it was midway through the first half before the visitors fashioned their first opportunity with Janmaat surging onto a misplaced ball from Georginio Wijnaldum in the area, only to roll a low shot straight at Randolph.

McClaren’s unhappiness on the touchline was already obvious by that stage, and having foregone his usual routine of watching some of the game from the stands, the Newcastle boss spent most of the night berating his players for their tardiness in closing down their opponents, with Moussa Sissoko coming in for especially sustained criticism.

McClaren will also have been perturbed by the visitors’ lack of an attacking threat, with Papiss Cisse finding himself isolated for long periods and Wijnaldum failing to make an impact yet again.

The Dutchman clearly has ability, but his performances in the pivotal ‘number ten’ role to date have been notable only for their anonymity. At no stage in last night’s match did he even threaten to run beyond Cisse, let alone carry out the act.

With West Ham continuing to dominate, Moses shot into the side netting shortly before the interval after a breaking Payet rolled him into space. That the move started after a Newcastle corner broke down at the opposite end of the field underlined the extent to which the Magpies were being carved open at will.

The incident should have served as a warning, but three minutes after the interval, and the Hammers repeated it to double their lead.

This time it was a Newcastle free-kick breaking down on the edge of the area, and all it took was a long punt forward to rip what was serving as the visitors’ defence apart.

Moses outpaced and outmuscled Anita and Massadio Haidara to surge into the area, and while his shot crashed against the underside of the crossbar, Payet calmly dispatched the rebound into the net. The sight of referee Anthony Taylor keeping pace with Newcastle’s midfielders as he trotted towards the area was hardly an edifying one from a black-and-white perspective.

Randolph was finally called into action to tip de Jong’s deflected shot over the crossbar, before the final incident of note saw Andy Carroll come off the substitutes’ bench with three minutes remaining. How Newcastle could do with someone of his goalscoring ability at the moment.