AN armed raider who tried to hold-up a betting shop but claimed it was a "cack-handed joke" when he was caught was last night (Thursday, July 2) behind bars.

David Swan was jailed for four years at Teesside Crown Court yesterday after a jury took just 50 minutes to reject his pathetic defence.

His own barrister branded him as "a compulsive idiot" and a "spontaneous cretin" for carrying out what he called "a pretty rubbish robbery".

The 33-year-old struck at Ladbrokes in Linthorpe Road, Middlesbrough, in March when he demanded a lone female assistant "load up the bag".

Earlier that night, as he plucked up the courage for the raid, he tried to put a £5 bet on a dog race but cancelled it as he had no money.

He returned an hour later to take a punt on a Manchester United v Arsenal FA Cup match, and chatted with the young worker about football.

She was upset when she gave evidence behind a protective screen in court, and would not watch CCTV pictures of Swan's botched raid.

“He was again hesitating to make a payment," she said. "He looked at me and, in the clearest of voices, said, ‘I’m not going to hurt you love, but will you fill this bag for me?’

"I said 'I want to leave now, you’re scaring me'. He dropped a metal bar, I heard the noise of metal on the floor, he picked it up and ran out.

"I was shaking, angry, sick, kept thinking about what could have happened with that metal bar. I’m still the same now. I feel sick, sick, scared to work on my own, my shifts have changed so I don’t work alone.”

Robin Turton, defending, said Swan had not been threatening, and added: "What he said was a rather cack-handed joke . . . the kind of joke you might make when drunk that fell flat.”

After the conviction, Mr Turton said: "This was a pretty rubbish robbery. He's an idiot, a spontaneous cretin who, at a particular moment, thinks this was a good idea and didn't think of the consequences.

"There was no disguise, there was no attempt to hide from the cameras. He was always going to get caught."

Swan, of Park Road South, Middlesbrough, was found guilty of attempted robbery at the end of a two-day trial at Teesside Crown Court.

The judge, Recorder Tom Little, told him the bungled hold-up has had a "significant" effect on the assistant, who showed bravery in not handing over any cash.