I GAVE up studying history aged just 12 in the foolish, misguided apprehension that if I was to be a man of science and biology would be so much more useful to me in my intended career as Nobel prize-winning boffin.

It was the wrong choice. I am no more a man of science than Jeremy Corbyn is an ardent Royalist

I have long regretted it. In my subsequent working life, it would have been so much more useful to knows the ins and outs of the 19th century Reform Acts than the details of the way photosynthesis works.

But I did enough history – and have watched sufficient number of movies – to know that medieval Britain was a pretty awful place to live unless you were king, or at very least nobility. The serfdom which was the lot of 99 per cent of population was not fun.

Mind you life could be pretty cruel to kings too. The grisly demise – allegedly and notoriously involving the use of a red hot poker ¬- of Richard II suggests that the Middle Ages were not a bundle of laughs for anyone.

So with images of extreme poverty, rape, pillage, pestilence, disease and horrible deaths in mind, the idea of visiting a farm shop cafe called Medieval Ulnaby wasn’t very appealing. Was it, for an extreme example, a theme park-type experience where visitors were clapped in irons and offered only the thinnest of gruel as sustenance?

The modern-day reality of Ulnaby is rather more reassuring. Ulnaby Hall is a rather pretty farm just off the Darlington to Staindrop road between Walworth and High Coniscliffe.

The medieval moniker is derived from the remains of the village that surrounds the farm. The network of ridges and field patterns is a scheduled ancient monument . Back in 2008 those funny folk from the telly programme Time Team paid a visit. Sadly they didn’t discover much other than how wet one can get in three days of monsoon.

It was a sunny autumnal Saturday lunchtime when we called. Parking in the farmyard we noted an attractive sitting out-area, a children’s play area and some rudimentary toilets housed in a portakabin-type structure. They weren’t exactly held together with baler twine but had that sort of rustic charm. Stocks and ducking stools were notable by their absence.

Inside the farm shop and cafe everything was as pristine as can be in a structure that presumably used to be a barn. In one half the shop sells some seriously good local produce, including lots of meat from the farm’s Belted Galloway cattle, rare breed pigs and Texel/Jacob cross sheep, and the twee gifty stuff that seems to crop up anywhere these days where tea and cakes are served in a “leisure destination”. For some folk, it seems, a day out is incomplete without a coffee, a scone and a hand-painted sign inscribed with a folksy legend: “It’s wine o’clock”, “Kiss the Cook” etc.

The other half of the building ¬- the cafe - was very busy. It only seats about 25 people and most seats were taken.

The menu is very simple – soup, quiche, sandwiches, baked potatoes, toasties, cakes, scones and other home-baked goods.

Sylvia had a “completely luscious” cheese and ham toastie (£5.95) made with some lovely homemade granary cob bread, more-ish stringey cheese and thickly-sliced ham.

It came with a few potato crisps and a little undressed side salad of iceberg lettuce, cucumber, cherry tomato and – in a charming throwback to an earlier era in British culinary history – sliced boiled egg. When did anyone one last serve a salad with boiled egg?

The plate was completed with small servings of coleslaw and potato salad which made it a substantial snack.

I had lasagne (£6.95) made with quality ground mince from the farm’s Belted Galloways. The pasta leaves were al dente and nicely chewy on some of the edges. It came with the same salad as Sylvia’s toastie and some of the same bread. The only negative was the packet of butter which came with the bread. It was Irish which is a bit of a clanger for a British farmshop celebrating the best of local produce at a time when our dairy farmers are receiving unsustainably low prices for their milk.

But there was nothing wrong with the generous slice of Victoria sponge with which I finished my meal. They certainly know how to bake here.

Service was patchy. There were plenty of staff but the pressure of people meant they seemed to be struggling at times. Just how long does it take to whack a slab of lasagne in the microwave and some bread under the grill we were starting to think just as our food arrived?

Exiting via the farm shop added £35 to our £19.90 cafe which included a couple of soft drinks. The leg of lamb we purchased was excellent the following day for Sunday lunch. There’s a shoulder of pork and sirloin of beef to follow.

Your Eating Out recommendations are welcome. Contact me at malcolm.warne@btinternet.com

FOOD FACTS

Medieval Ulnaby Farm Shop and Cafe, Ulnaby Hall Farm, High Coniscliffe, Darlington, DL2 2LT

Tel: 01325-374358

Web: www.medievalulnaby.co.uk

Open: Tuesday to Saturday 10am-5pm; Sunday 11am-4pm. Closed Mondays except bank holidays and in the summer/Easter holidays

Disabled access. Vegetarian options available

Ratings(out of ten): Food quality 7 Surroundings 7 Service 6 Value 8